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I Do Not Look Sick, But I Am

Sam Sabzehzar 2011-11-22 3 comments

I am a 35 year old white female and I look like every other 35 year old female on the outside…

By StetsonGrl ¬†| ¬†Published on A Stoner Chick’s Thoughts

But what you cannot see is the pain I am in, the anxiety I feel, the sleeplessness that haunts me, or my stomach that makes me wish that sometimes I did not have to eat to survive.

The last time I checked DEA stood for Drug Enforcement Agency.

Maybe my assumption is wrong, but since when did the DEA also become doctors?

If my assumption¬†is¬†incorrect, I would¬†never¬†¬†just take a doctor’s¬†recommendation on¬†whether¬†to take any kind of drug for any ailment I had not discussed with them first.

The DEA is staking out places where legit patients go to get their medicine.

To judge whether these patients are legitimate by just observation is contrary to science!

Just because you cannot see something does not mean it does not exist! Look at God for example! Has anyone ever seen God?

There are billions of people that believe in God despite the fact that they have never seen God, but perhaps have felt God non-the-less.

Just because you cannot see my pinched nerve does not mean is is not pinched. Just because you cannot see my muscles spasm doesn’t mean they aren’t. Those two things alone cause me so much pain.

That is just the physical part. The mental part can really get to you if you let it, and it is so difficult not to some days.

Nobody can see pain or what is running through my brain. You can see the pain on my face sometimes, but notice the word sometimes. I try to hide it and sometimes the shooting pain does not allow me to hide anything. And when trying to hide the pain I clench my jaw, which hurts because of this.

Then my mood dips low and I am not pleasant to be around.

That is until I use cannabis. Yup, that horrible, illegal, gateway drug! It eases my pain! I want to live! I want to eat and am able to without fear of my stomach completely going foul. I will not get into detail but trust me, it is not pleasant.

My¬†stomach¬†issues stem from my years of taking morphine for my pain. You can’t see my stomach issues either!

When I smoke I am able to be a functioning member of society. When I was taking morphine I was a far cry from functioning. Yet, morphine is legal.

If you knew my history and spoke with me would you deem me a qualified legit patient for cannabis? If not, why not? Because I look young?

Veterans returning from wars today look young. Do they have to have had a limb blown off for you to ‘allow’ them the use of cannabis as a medicine?

Federal Government! I am talking to you! Legalize already!

Marijuana is already a multi-million dollar industry. Why not oh, I don’t know, maybe make jobs and oh, let’s say just for fun, put some money back into¬†America!? Enough is enough.

There are protesters that are obviously out of jobs, put them to work. Regulate marijuana like wine and I believe this country will benefit immensely.

And I am not the only one who believes this thing we cannot yet see.


  1. christopher

    im a valley fever patient im from California. i had numerous head operations placing shunts and resivores in my head.the uncomfortableness sleeping sum times is difficult because if i dont have my head positioned rite my head will start hurting bad because the brain fluid isn’t getting the proper flow .i sleep with 9 pillows sometimes i cant sleep at makes my stomach hurt real bad and it makes me wanna throw up. i thought maybe coz im dehydrated so i drink the water or eat and cant keep it down. i take my medication, when you look at me i look like a healthy young man people dont realize my situation so i have 2 educate them about it.”SAY NO TO PILLS ETC”

  2. kimberly

    I know exactly how you feel as i am a survivor of a rare cancer and had to have part of my stomach and intestines removed as well as part of my pancrease. this one perscription replaces many medicines and probably plays a huge part of why im still here 11 years later. its a long story but, it increases my appetite, reduces nausea, chronic pain, chronic pancreatitis, chronic stomach and bowel issues and has probably kept me from becoming a diabetic. i have lots of stress, so smoking also reduces my anxiety as well. I can go on and on most people would never know i deal with all of the above as i hide it well because you cant see hardly any of the above. as I hide it well… because I have to… because you can’t see the pain, the sickness, the nausea, the bowel and stomach issues, the eating problems etc…

  3. IrieEyes

    I have some of the same problems as well as fibromyalgia and IBS.
    You know what really pisses me off, I just watched a documentary on Current TV about the Pain Clinics in Florida where anyone can go say they have pain and walk out with 200 OXYCONTINS or Percocet !!!
    These narcotics are being sold at mass quantities to anyone most of which come from out of state to buy these pills for resale YET the DEA chooses to raid legal medical MJ businesses!!! WTF Those narcotic drugs kill and addict more people everyday, while cannibus takes all the heat……sorry for ranting